I am crabby today.  Really crabby.  I think it’s due to the fact I got an SI joint injection two days ago and the injection site and steroids are getting to me.  So with that I bring you this meme I stole from Crisitunity, partly because I liked it and partly because I am completely devoid of original thought today.  My answers might be different if I was not so crabby.  But I am. 

1. My uncle once: entertained me by talking like Kermit the Frog. The voice similarity was uncanny.

2. Never in my life: have I had a mani-pedi. Or even just a mani. Or a pedi.

3. When I was five: I realized that there were other kids in the world when I was thrust into kindergarten with no warning or explanation.

4. High school was: Brazil produces 1/3 of the world’s coffee crop.***

5. I will never forget: the Alamo

6. I once met: Ted Kaczynski

7. There’s this girl I know who: is an anesthesiologist

8. Once, at a bar: In New York City I discovered that some bathrooms are used for both boys AND girls and in-betweeners

9. By noon, I’m usually: coming back from lunch

10. Last night: I was in bed by 8:30 but didn’t fall asleep until 11.

11. If only I had: Bazookas mounted on the hood of my car.

12. Next time I go to church: I’ll hang out by the breakfast table

13. Terri Schiavo: is in a better place

14. What worries me most: planning enchiladas for dinner and finding that the fucking tortillas have expired.

15. When I turn my head left, I see: A weeping willow tree

16. When I turn my head right, I see: a giant stack of freakin’ dirty dishes that are starting to generate their own living organisms

17. You know I’m lying when: I say “Oh, geez, I can’t, I have an prior engagement.” Translation: “Sitting on the couch sounds more fun at this time. Try again next week.”

18. What I miss most about the eighties: I didn’t know then what I know now.

19. If I was a character in Shakespeare, I’d be: “Bubble bubble, toil and trouble…”

20. By this time next year: I will have gone to the dentist.

1. A better name for me would be: Superwoman

22. I have a hard time understanding: higher math

23. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: Get a useless degree in literature or a useful one in horticulture then start an organic farm

24. You know I like you if: I hump your leg. Just kidding. I like most people I meet, so unless you have wronged me then I like you.

25. If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: The little people

26. Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: can be made into this anagram: A Man, Wizard Rot, Agile Nerd, Enforcer Risks Limp

27. Take my advice, never: drink seventeen martinis in a row

28. My ideal breakfast is: An egg sandwich with red onion, feta, and tomatoes. With coffee.

29. A song I love, but do not own is: I am sure this would be a long list.

30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest: that you check out the Berkeley Pit and have dinner at the Derby

31. Tulips, character flaws, microchips, & track stars: Would be two lines of a strange poem

32. Why won’t people: live and let live

33. If you spend the night at my house: you will be forced to look at all of my photo albums, I will cook you a big dinner, and then I will make you stay up late and watch one or two of my favorite movies.

34. I’d stop my wedding for: the purpose of changing my mind and fleeing the country

35. The world could do without: mosquitoes

36. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: have another root canal

37. My favorite blonde is: Daniel Craig?

38: Paper clips are more useful than: Britney Spears

39. If I do anything well, it’s: perfectly normal. Unless it’s Tuesday. Or Sunday.

40. And by the way: buy local.

***I was sitting in my freshman World Cultures class, despising it so, and I decided that I would remember ONE THING.  That way, if anyone ever asked me “what did you learn in high school” I would have an answer.  So I closed my eyes and flipped to a random page and pointed.  That was the factoid that my finger landed on.  I am not sure if it is still accurate.