DEATHMATCH: Cookies vs. Donuts

What do you call it when you intentionally slide your car around in a circle in an icy parking lot?

 

Well, not you, probably, because you are a responsible, safe driver.  But maybe you know someone who has done that. 

 

Carli and I call it “spinning cookies.”  We had a conversation about this last night. 

 

This all started a couple of weeks ago when J and I were out doing some last minute shopping.  The parking lot was covered in a couple of inches of ice, and when he stopped the car’s back end slid back and forth.  “Whoa,” I said.  “You almost did a cookie!”

 

Then J burst into laughter.  “COOKIE?!” he howled.  “COOKIE!?” 

 

I am glad it was dark because I am sure I turned red.  I often say things incorrectly due to the way I have heard them pronounced in my hometown.  Ask me about my “melk drinking” or the color “mahoegany” sometime. 

But I knew I wasn’t mispronouncing “cookie.”  I am a fan of cookies, so I know this.

 

“What do you call it?” I asked.

 

“Everyone knows it’s a donut,” he said.  “COOKIE!!”  More laughter.  We talked about it for the next hour as we shopped, and when I say “talked” I mean he teased me relentlessy and even pointed, while I scowled.  I knew it was cookie.  At least where I come from.

 

So I called Carli last night.  “I need you to resolve a very important argument,” I said. 

 

I could sense her eyes rolling.  “Sure.”

 

“What do you call it when you intentionally slide your car around in a circle in an icy parking lot?”

 

She didn’t answer right away…and here is why!  She and her husband have had this same argument.  “I always get confused,” she said, “because H made so much fun of me.  I know I say whatever the opposite of H says.”

 

Heh.

 

“Hey H,” I heard her yell.  “What do you call it when you spin your car around in the parking lot on purpose?”

 

“Donut,” he yelled back.

 

“Yeah, it’s a cookie,” she said.

 

I got a text from her this morning that said “Thanks by the way.  Now we are arguing about it again.”