Jesse is reading a lot of books about grizzly bears.  He’s a landscape photographer, and we just moved to Montana, and he’s taking precautions not to get mauled.  At least, he’s trying to learn what to do, should he ever get into a situation where he is about to get mauled.

At Easter Dinner, my dad was teasing my son.  We had a nice extended family dinner, see.  My mom and I had just cooked up an enormous prime rib roast, and I was cutting off Old 96′er sized slices for everyone.  “That’s grizzly bear meat,” my dad joked. 

My son’s eyes got really big.  ”We’re eating grizzly bears?”

“Yup.  Now what do you think grizzly bears eat?” my dad asked. 

“Photographers,” said my mom, with just the right amount of sarcasm.  This caused me to cackle hysterically.  Jesse’s mom did not laugh.  She had a “is she serious” expression on instead. 

Jesse’s never seen a grizzly bear in the wild.  I’ve seen two.  One was just a couple of years ago in Grand Teton National Park, near Jenny Lake.  

The other time I saw a grizzly bear was when I was quite young.  My dad, mom, brother and I were in the truck headed for Philipsburg.  Suddenly we saw a bear in the field.  My dad stopped the truck.  I can’t remember what was said, but I’m pretty sure my mom would have said something like “What the eff do you think you are doing?”

My dad then got out of the truck and headed for the bear in the field.  There was a large rock in the field.  What happened next went something like this: 

  • Bear is on one side of rock, sniffing the air for something strange
  • Dad is on the other side of the rock, “sneaking up on the bear”
  • Bear grunts (we can even hear it from the truck) and heads to other side of rock
  • Dad disappears behind the rock and heads to the opposite side of the rock
  • Bear is confused, and sniffs the air again
  • Children watch excitedly from car
  • Mom wishes she had more life insurance on Dad

This went on for a while, until the bear got bored and went off into the woods.  All part of the weird stories of my childhood that make me who I am today…a very troubled person with an inflated sense of possibility.  Thanks for reading.  Tune in next week to read about the bald eagle incident.