Let’s just say that it is not comfortable to sit at a computer. I am typing this in a very awkward position which isn’t comfortable either, but I felt that it was time for an update. The morning of the surgery (February 15) I had a clear mind to go with the fusion instead of the ADR. So that is what I did. The surgeon seemed to breathe I sigh of relief when I told him, maybe he was thinking One less person to sue me later. Not that I am litigious anyway, but he doesn’t know that.

Below is a “diary” of what it has been like so far…part of this is from memory.

Day 1 - Surgery (2/15/06)

Arrived at the hospital slightly late. Very foggy driving down Hwy 24…20 foot visibility. Is it still considered “fog” when it is obviously a cloud? Anyway, we had to turn back after driving nearly the entire way because I forgot to grab my very important red folder that they reminded me to bring to the hospital (Note: once we got there, no one ever asked for that stupid red folder. Should have never turned back). Nurses sprang into action and told me I was “ASAP’d” so I was in the waiting room only for a few minutes.

The nurses handed me the token gown to wear. Why are hospitals always so frickin’ cold? And you would think someone getting back surgery might be given more than a 2 inch foam mattress to wait on. Anyway, eventually we got wheeled back to the pre-operating room where I met with the whole surgery team. I met with the anesthesiologist (I hate typing that word) who gave me some options for pain. I got to choose between epidural and pain button. I chose the pain button (I actually wanted BOTH but apparently that is not an option). He also told me I would wake up with a second IV that he would put in, for the purpose of making a blood transfusion happen should it come to that. I met with the surgeon and we discussed the fusion. I was about to undergo the ALIF (Anterior Lumbar Interbody Fusion) procedure with invertebral cages. I am not going to explain what that means…there are lots of other places you can go to read about it. Here I also got my first IV put it, which almost necessitated a transfusion right there.

Jesse and my mother were there with me in the pre-op room. My mom was freaking out, natch; if Jesse was concerned he didn’t show it…or maybe his concern was overshadowed by my mom’s freakiness. Most of all she worried about my allergy to sulfa drugs. I tried to explain that my red bracelet was to prevent them giving sulfa drugs to me; also, this operation would never, ever call for the use of them…but does that logic matter? I think that with a major operation where they actually move your guts out of you and put them back later has many, many other points of concern. I digress.

At 11:00 AM I was wheeled to the operating room where I noticed I was getting “Fuzzy”. That sneaky anesthesiologist (did I mention I hate typing that?) had slipped me something in the IV. I remember thinking “Where am I supposed to put my arms? This table doesn’t have a place for my arms!”

5:20 PM: I woke up suddenly, unsure where I was, suddenly aware of great, horrible pain in my abdomen. I started thrashing about (so they tell me) until a nurse gave me a little something in my IV. I am told I had some funny conversations with the nurse, including a story where I told the nurse that I, too was a nurse. I guess she asked me where I was a nurse and I told her “Aw, I’m just kidding, I’m not a nurse, I am just a computer geek.” Of course this is all second hand, the only thing I really remember is the pain. Ow.

Day 2 - Day 4 (2/16-18/06)

Really not a lot of memory here. I just remember a few things: Pushing my pain button a LOT. Thinking that night nurses are mean and rude. Having to “log roll” out of bed. Wondering if this was a good idea at all. Not getting to eat, not even ice chips…but not really caring. Not being able to get comfortable. Watching LOST on my hospital TV but not remembering what happened at all. My hospital roommates are loud, and so are their families. Why can’t all nurses be like “Dell?” I hate hate hate physical therapists (who always seemed to show up five seconds after I finally found a comfortable position in bed).

Day 4 (2/18/06)

I get to eat broth, jello, and a popsicle!

Day 5 (2/19/06)

My first real meal in six days: Cream of Rice. Blecch. Bonus event: I lost 11 pounds in the hospital. This starvation plan really works! I can see why so many in the entertainment industry use it!

I can walk a computer loop of the 7th floor at Memorial Hospital (with my totally rockin’ walker of course). Why? Because if I walk like I know what I am doing, they will let me go home. I HATE this place. If they asked me to scale the side of the building before I could be let out, I would probably try. If only that “Dell” nurse was on duty, I might have stayed another day. But instead a bunch of psychos are on duty. I shouldn’t say they were all bad. “Paul” and “Amy” and “Krystal” were all pretty terrific. I am awesome: I have a walker, a toilet riser, and a three-foot long shoe horn. I am completely prepared for my golden years.

The surgeon comes in to ask me how it is going. I think about it. The pain I had before seems to be gone. I can feel my left leg again. It’s hard to notice this through the six-inch stapled incision in my gut, but it’s gone. The surgeon is pleased, as am I. They let me go home. They give me lots of drugs, including some for the 30-mile car ride home. Thanks to everyone who visited me in the hospital!

Day 6 (2/20/06)

Maybe coming home early wasn’t such a good idea. It is really hard to get around. Why did we have to get such a tall bed? My son is scared of me…I probably look and smell different. He might sense the drug-induced wackiness. Good thing his Grandma is here. I take a lot of drugs and sleep a lot. This really, really, really hurts.

Day 7-8 (2-21/22-06)

I move really slowly with my walker. This sucks. The pain has not subsided since the hospital. The horse-pill sized Percocets are being taken every 4 hours but are barely making a difference. This really hurts. I can’t play with AJ with hurts much worse than the pain. I need help putting my socks and pants on. That hurts too. Boy, this sucks. I am also starting to feel the back pain. This is normal; they added some hardware back there with some screws and whatnot…I can feel where they drilled them in. I might be imagining it, but if I reach back there (carefully, since I can’t bend or twist) I think I can feel the hardware through my skin.

My mom leaves on the 22nd. After she is gone, we are officially screwed. AJ has been gramma-ized (spoiled rotten). He won’t sleep. He won’t accept his daycare; they call to tell us he is inconsolable and we have to go pick him up. My husband can’t get his work done, and there is nothing I can do to help. AJ also is recovering from an ear infection so he won’t eat or cooperate. The house is such a mess that I am afraid to walk in fear I might trip over something. No one is getting any sleep. This is hellish. I hope it is worth it. Luckily food is being delivered by generous folks from my workplace. I don’t have to subsist on frozen burritos with a side of ramen.

Day 11 (2/25/06)

I don’t have to use my walker for everything. The pain is either getting better or I am more used to it. When I think about it, even though it hurts it isn’t as depressing as my constant back pain was before. Maybe this is because there is an end in sight. I already feel better (as good as one can feel with a back brace, toilet riser, and itchy incision). One thing that is killing me: my legs are restless and itching to move. I get on the treadmill for ten minutes; this is incredible. It feels great. My stomach has really shrunk down, or something. I am 14 pounds lighter than when I went into the hospital. I guess you don’t need to eat much when you are lying around all day long.

Day 12 (2/26/06)

I am getting these staples out on Wednesday. I’m a little nervous about the car ride. Ouch. My son has accepted the fact I cannot pick him up, he settles for hugging my legs. I wish I could play with him, but that will come in time. The bright side is he probably won’t remember any of this.

I have read five large novels, watched every movie in the house, and spend hours learning useless trivia on Wikipedia. If anyone has a good book to recommend, let me know.

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There you have it so far. That was a long post. Did you read the whole thing?